Inspiration's What You Are To Me
by Feckless Chaff
Summary: James/Kendall: After arriving in Hollywood, James thanks Kendall graciously for helping him live his dream. Fill for a prompt on the LJ BTR FLuff Meme.


_This is a fill to a prompt on the LJ BTR Fluff Meme. I hope this brings it justice._

_Big Time Rush- 2010© Nickelodeon _

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It was so cliché. James knew that. Well, he knew that after Logan explained to him what cliché meant. But that was beside the point. The point was that they were four guys from a small town making it big in LA. All the movies and TV shows talked about it and James would usually laugh and crack jokes about the impossibility of that ever happening. The truth was that was exactly what he wanted. And because of Kendall, he had that.

Everything was because of Kendall. James' entire life was living in the shadow of the courageous boy with a big heart and cute eyebrows. For some reason, he felt a pang of something towards the boy for that reason. It was bad feeling that was new to James. But that didn't matter, all those gross, churning feelings. That was because the warm, fuzzy feeling he got while around his best friend was greater than that bit of resentment.

As James sat by the small fire he had somehow started in the circular fireplace by the Palm Wood's pool, he couldn't help but think about these exact thoughts. When he remembered all those times Kendall upstaged him, he wrapped the light blue towel around his shoulders tighter as if to block out all the bad feelings. They were in LA now; there was no room for bad blood.

Suddenly, James felt a hand on his shoulder. He jolted back to the land of the living, facing the offender. There was Kendall, grinning at him with droplets of water running down his forehead and a towel about his shoulders as well.

"A penny for your thoughts?" he held his hand out, that charming smile radiating off his face. James smirked and gave him a light shove, turning back to face the pool.

They sat there in comfortable silence as James tried to gather what he wanted to say. He was never the greatest with words, especially around Kendall. Usually his insides were too busy turning to jell-o to form a good thought. Something that made sense.

This whole thing was still new to him. Liking his best friend since kindergarten. Sure, James had been different since he was an embryo. But he'd just adapted, with his homophobic dad and quiet mother. There was no way he could embrace who he really was with that combination. But now they were in LA, miles away from their small town in Minnesota. He could finally be who he wanted to be, who he was. And that was so weird compared to his old life.

This brought on yet another knew thought. It was Kendall he owed all this to. He was the one who Gustavo wanted, right? If it hadn't had been for him, they'd still be in Minnesota, probably torturing the girl's field hockey team or running shopping carts into people. No, they were in California, James' dream state. They were going to be famous pop stars. This was a dream come true. And it was all Kendall who made it happen. Making that deal with Gustavo. It was genius. And now they all were in debt to him. Especially James…

"Um…man…" James turned to the boy opposite to him. Kendall looked at him, expectant, his eyes sparkling against the flames glowing in front of them. The sandy haired boy felt his throat gain a new lump and his heart drop to his stomach. He couldn't believe the effect Kendall really had on him. "Thanks…"

Kendall cocked his head to the side in confusion. James snickered at the perplexed expression he had. The blond haired boy glared, teasingly. "What's to thank me for?" he asked, finally. James turned his head to look at the pool once again.

"You're the reason we're here. I mean…without you, we're nothing," he spoke sincerely, looking back at Kendall, who nodded, listening intently.

"James, it's no big deal…" he started, but was cut off by an irritated James.

"That's the thing! It's no big deal to you, but this is huge for me! I've wanted this since….since birth!" he explained, a little louder. Kendall chuckled.

"I know you have. I _have_ known you since we were 5."

They were quiet again, hearing the fire crackling next to them. Smiles were radiating off both their faces. James felt his heart fluttering again. He wanted so badly to know what Kendall was thinking. That would solve so many problems.

But more than that, he wanted to lean over and place a small kiss on the other boy's lips. He wondered what they felt like, what they tasted like. Probably perfect, like everything else about Kendall. He finally took the leap, after seeing Kendall's expression.

"You can kiss me…if you want," he breathed, awkwardly. After the words left his mouth, he wished the flames would suddenly rise and engulf him completely. But no such thing happened. Instead…

"I want to," Kendall whispered and leaned in, closing the gap between them with a soft, chaste kiss.

It wasn't anything special. There was no furthering or kiss of promise. No, it was just sweet and quick, making sparks fly for both boys. As they parted, they both smiled. Soon, Kendall said he had to go shower, but James wanted to stay a little longer. And with a small kiss on the forehead, Kendall disappeared into the building.

James let out an extended sigh. Sure, the kiss wasn't anything big, more of a small thank you than anything. But James was okay with that…


End file.
